


when the world treats you way too fairly (well it's a shame i'm a dream)

by saltyvenus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Humor, Past Lives, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:02:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26705686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltyvenus/pseuds/saltyvenus
Summary: we'll meet again, in a different lifetime.reincarnation au.
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Mikasa Ackerman/Annie Leonhart, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 216





	when the world treats you way too fairly (well it's a shame i'm a dream)

**Author's Note:**

> praying that annie and armin don't get together in the manga…...pls….no
> 
> anyways this is kinda..bad.LMAO. if there are any plotholes just close ur eyes <3
> 
> title: all i wanted - paramore

there’s something about the local starbucks that suddenly has mikasa drawn to it. sure, it’s the closest to her college, and near the gym she attends every morning, and it’s rarely packed to the brim, but it’s just like any other coffee shop, with the hipster customers and the high chair tables and the sugary but delicious cake pops. which is why it now has mikasa in a state of confusion whenever she enters after her morning run. 

she thinks that maybe it’s the coffee that has her so addicted. it  _ is _ good, really, the way they ground the fresh coffee beans into the machine, how it comes out nice and slick,  _ black _ , just how mikasa likes it.

but the more she looks at the cup, that same morning before class, and the way it’s made, mikasa realizes it isn’t actually the coffee. it isn’t the way it flows smoothly down her throat, nor is it how the temperature of the beverage is just right. rather, it's the person who made it.

the petite blonde girl has been working at the starbucks for as long as mikasa has been going since the start of the semester, she figures that she’s around the same age as her, despite her short build. it’s only until the week before her exams that mikasa suddenly comprehends this, this  _ warmth,  _ this feeling of normality, everytime she enters and sees that girl working there. 

there’s quite a lot of staring, after mikasa is given her coffee and goes to sit down in the corner, because she finds something so captivating about the girl. her table is messily consumed by notes, pens and textbooks, these exams were pretty serious, and as every college student does, mikasa studies at the local starbucks.

yet, half an hour later, she hasn’t touched any of her work, her coffee cup is only just halfway finished, and her eyes are still glued to the barista because mikasa knows nothing about being casual and discrete. but, in another sense, it actually brings her luck this time. well, sort of.

by now the barista has noticed her totally creepy staring, eventually  _ comes _ over, which, mikasa doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or if she was just keen on viewing her from afar, but she’s coming over, and mikasa can’t stop it. 

“hey.” her voice is slightly raspy, probably from taking orders all day, however it still sends a shiver down mikasa’s spine at how direct she’s being. “you got a staring problem?” she fronts, light brows knotted.

a moment of silence passes by before mikasa actually replies, setting her cup down where there is an empty space between all her work on the table. “no, no. sorry. it’s just you look really familiar.”

then, the barista’s eyebrows raise up, she fiddles with her green starbucks hat while a small smirk edges at the sides of her lips. “i go to the same uni as you.” she affirms, her other hand ghosting over her name tag, written in tiny italics that mikasa can barely see. “annie leonhart.”

it’s a surprise, that this girl, in fact, has seen mikasa out of ordering her usual black coffee in the morning. that mikasa could’ve secluded her much earlier. “oh..then how come i’ve never seen you around?”

annie shrugs, readjusting the straps on her apron that definitely seems too big for her. “well, i’m working here most of the time. i also like to think that i don’t stand out that much.”

yet, looking at her now, mikasa thinks annie stands out tenfold. her height, perhaps, may be the only disadvantage, but her hair is completely golden, her blue eyes are just absolutely striking, they even appear more detailed in the light, mikasa notices. she stood out to her.

“leonhart.” mikasa ponders for a second, looking down. even the name feels so familiar on her tongue, the way it rolls off of it. “...german, right?”

“right. my father is.” annie looks at her skeptically. “and you’re..korean?”

“japanese. i’m kind of offended by that.” mikasa huffs. “also, i’m only half. my father was german as well.”

annie nods, that smirk still plastered across her lips. “okay, telling me your whole life story.” she’s using a slight mocking tone, mikasa realizes right away, but it has her face flushing at the thought of her rambling. 

“i apologize.” mikasa chuckles lightly, scratching the back of her head in embarrassment. “but you know now, and that not every asian person is korean.”

annie snorts and nods, looking behind her at the mass flock of customers coming towards the counter. she then groans, straight from her throat, mikasa can sense it, and she turns back around to look at the raven haired girl.

“i gotta dip. maybe i’ll see you around, hm?”

xx

the next time mikasa sees annie isn’t actually in the starbucks, unfortunately, but rather the university library.

“oh, hi.” mikasa says to her when she comes back from the bathroom. annie’s sitting down at her table, laptop open alongside messy notes with mikasa’s belongings across from her. mikasa wonders how she knew, that this was actually  _ the _ table she has used since freshman year, but then vaguely remembers how annie seemed very observant of her surroundings, through being blended into the background and all.

“yo.” annie replies, moving her things over so that mikasa can sit back down in her seat. 

“i didn’t think you’d find me so soon.” mikasa sort of jokes, opening her textbook, ‘language and literature’ printed out in huge bold letters at the front. there’s chunks of paragraphs highlighted in blue pen, where mikasa has made a few notes next to them. it certainly catches annie’s eye.

“yeah.” her eyes drift across the page. “really, english major? i don’t know what i expected.” annie says, to which mikasa looks up from her book. she only notices how casual annie looks when she’s not in her work uniform, a grey hoodie and jeans, the closer she looks, there’s small bags underneath her eyes which makes mikasa think about how often she actually sleeps.

mikasa flips through a few pages in her textbook, finally tearing her eyes away from annie’s curious ones. “it wasn’t my first choice. but it’s interesting enough.”

annie chuckles, crossing her arms. “well, i’m kinda failing mine, so that’s fun.”

mikasa raises an eyebrow and looks back up again, taking a small glance at annie’s notes. she can’t make out most of the writing, all small and clumped together, but she sees something along the lines of ‘mitosis’ sprawled out at the bottom.

“biology?” mikasa squints, unable to read the writing any further. “i heard that’s pretty hard. eren’s taking that, and i have to help him revise since he’s so impatient.”

annie’s eyebrows furrow at the mention of him. “eren jaeger? yeah, he’s in my class.” she says firmly. it wasn’t like it was new information, the whole stigma surrounding mikasa and eren, what their relationship was, why they were so abnormally close. “he’s pretty loud, and annoying, you know. that’s why i hate going into class in the mornings.”

it’s a joke, mikasa  _ thinks _ , with annie’s monotone voice she can’t quite tell. there’s an awkward pause of silence, annie’s face doesn’t show any discomfort, yet mikasa can still feel a heavy tension weighing in the air. mikasa’s about to speak up, tell her that it’s not eren’s fault,  _ nothing _ is his fault.

but annie changes the subject. mikasa doesn’t know if she’s irritated or grateful at her quick digress. “anyways. so...are you decent at this?”

mikasa sighs, decides to forget about that little accident. weirdly enough, she can’t find it in her to stay mad at annie, for whatever reason, like there’s some sort of connection there. “i can help you, if that’s what you’re asking.”

annie nods, small grin on her face. “great.” she then reaches into her back pocket, pulling out her phone “here, lemme give you my number incase i flunk every semester. those chemical foundations are really beating my ass right now.”

annie hands over her phone, pushing it along the table. mikasa puts in her information, tries not to think about how she’s giving this girl her number, and the unbelievably romantic act of it all, and slides it back to annie. 

in between the movement of hands, annie’s fingers accidentally graze over mikasa’s, not even for the  _ slightest _ of seconds, not even a poke, but there’s a sudden spark pricking through mikasa’s veins that has her pulling away immediately, face turned up in unexplainable pain.

“you okay?” annie looks at her with confusion when her phone is tucked back into her pocket safely.

mikasa swallows, shakes the sting away. it almost makes her head spin at the mere feeling, makes her wonder why it was so powerful, she had never felt anything as strong as this.

“yes, i’m fine.” mikasa sighs, her other hand shaking, hidden underneath the table. it stirs up a wave of thought. “you said you needed help on chemical foundations?”

xx

it’s almost terrifying, how quickly annie has been squeezed into her life like this. she’s no longer just the girl from starbucks, or just someone she passes by during school. perhaps, she’s a friend, now. it isn’t like mikasa  _ needs _ anymore companions, eren and armin are truly enough in themselves, but she thinks that this time she can make an exception, for annie. 

however, it’s not until mikasa finally closes her eyes after a long day of work, immense in a sea of darkness, that her thoughts are plagued with a vivid memory that almost feels  _ too _ real. 

there’s a light grey wash over the sky, smoke and fire engulfing the town, mikasa can just barely make out a huge wall surrounding the buildings, all stone and battered. a sharp stinging is felt in her ears by the time she sees two people crouched around the corner, rather, a blonde and a raven haired girl. 

the buzzing stops completely when the blonde speaks. her voice comes out shaky, scared. it has mikasa’s heart pounding.

_ “did you really think it was going to turn out like this?” _ the blonde whispers, all small under the screaming and yelling of death and destruction behind her. her hand is clenched tightly around the other girl’s arm.  _ “that it would’ve worked in another life?” _

a cascade of tears roll down the raven haired girl’s cheeks, dirt, grime and blood spattered on every aspect of her face, paled with fear. she all but looks at the blonde, jaw twitching.  _ “i’m not sure, but i know we’ll meet again, someday.” _

mikasa is shaking by the time her eyes shoot open. 

xx

mikasa doesn’t tell eren or armin about her dream last night, even when eren gives her a suspicious glance when she wakes up in the morning and there’s heavy bags under her eyes. 

“you look like you haven’t slept at all.” eren remarks when she’s grabbing some food out of the fridge, the annoying sounds of his video game in the background. mikasa only shrugs, taking out some milk. she doesn’t feel like going down to the starbucks for coffee this time.

“i have an exam this morning.” mikasa lies through her teeth, pouring the milk into two mugs. it hurts, to lie to eren like this, but her dream was so vivid, so  _ real _ . mikasa doesn’t know if it’s just something she can talk about upfront. sure, she’s had her fair shares of nightmares, but it has never been as prominent as this. 

mikasa gives eren the other cup of milk, placing it into his free hand, then going to sit on the couch. “really?” he asks after taking a sip, setting the mug down on the carpet beside him. “mine don’t start until tomorrow.”

“which is why you should start revising. biology is pretty hard.” mikasa chides, then stops drinking her milk. she suddenly remembers the way she had tutored annie the other day on the same thing, the way her hand lingered ever so slightly on her own, and the surprising shock of it. the way she remembers she now has annie’s contact saved on her phone. 

and the way she had that horrible dream that same night. 

“okay, seriously, what’s wrong with you?” eren catches her attention, bringing her back to reality. he pauses his game and turns around to look at her. “you’re spacing out.” a small tone of worry accompanies his voice.

mikasa shakes her head, putting down her milk on the coffee table, slowly getting up from the sofa. “i’m fine. you go study, i’ll be back after my exam.” mikasa says quickly, she only spots, when she’s halfway out of the door, eren’s confused expression. 

xx

mikasa’s exam goes by quickly, thankfully. she doesn’t know if she could handle another hour with other english majors. mikasa tries not to think about eren, and how he looked at her with a worried glint in his eyes. she only prays that he doesn’t tell armin, who, amongst everyone, is much more observant and, quite frankly, smarter. 

mikasa shoves that thought to the back of her mind, zipping up her bag and slinging it around her shoulder, gracefully exiting the classroom. amidst all the shit brewing in her brain, eren and armin, and how  _ hard _ that exam just was, she isn’t expecting to see annie leaning against the wall opposite the door, phone in hand, waiting for her. 

it seems like she has headphones in, the more mikasa squints, the white airpods sticking out of her ears blasting heavy music. annie just notices her when she halts in front of the hallway.

“oh, hey.” annie plucks her airpods out, stuffing them into her pockets. she sort of looks nervous, mikasa thinks, her hands fiddling in her hoodie pocket gives it away. mikasa tries not to push to make it worse, because annie looks especially small right now.

“waiting for me?” mikasa teases, but it makes the tips of annie’s ears turn red, and she wonders how far from the truth that actually is, mikasa doesn’t think it’s quite far, with the way annie is desperately trying not to catch her eye.

annie reaches her arm to scratch behind her neck, still peering down at her shoes. “yeah, ha. um, anyways, so ymir’s having one of those hangouts at her place this friday after exams. you wanna come?” annie speaks, her words becoming softer at the end of her sentence that mikasa actually has to lean forward to hear her.

mikasa raises her brows, gripping the strap of her bag tighter. “i’m not really into those sorts of things. plus, i’d hate to come over unannounced.” she hates how annie’s face drops in the slightest at this, just barely a moment, but her walls come back up again.

the shorter blonde shrugs her shoulders casually, though mikasa knows it’s but an act. “thought you’d say that, but i’m bringing you as my plus one, so really, you have no excuse.” it shocks mikasa at how sudden annie is being direct, or sarcastic, rather,  _ her  _ kind of humor, but mikasa feels a wave of weird nostalgia at the way annie is talking to her right now, like she has heard something like that before. 

a small grin wavers on mikasa’s lips, it has annie looking up at her with hope. “sure, just text me the time and address.”

annie nods, grinning, though she tries to hide it away from mikasa, she can still see it linger on her face. “cool.” 

“you work on friday morning, right?” mikasa asks, changing the subject, she doesn’t know how long she can keep staring at annie’s smile.

“yeah, you coming by?” annie asks and raises her eyebrow. 

“of course.”

by now, they’re the only ones standing in the empty hallway. mikasa completely forgets about promising eren that she’ll come home straight after her exam.

xx 

friday eventually comes by relatively quickly, and with that, the exams are over. mikasa doesn’t think she’s seen eren stress out so much about biology in her life, much less now. though, every time she even has a  _ thought _ about helping eren with something that brushes over the topic of bio, her mind always wavers back to annie. mikasa doesn’t help eren with his work anymore because of the slight chance of remembering that tiny interaction with annie last time.

she also doesn’t tell him that she’s going out tonight, mikasa doesn’t know how  _ bad _ she’s become, to not tell him these sorts of things, but by the time she’s sneaking out of the dorm room, eren is already asleep.

mikasa checks her messages from annie to find ymir’s apartment, right outside campus. it’s a bit of a long walk, especially in the cold weather and in the  _ dark _ , but mikasa makes it there unscratched, showing up a few minutes earlier than expected.

it’s actually historia who opens the door after mikasa buzzes the doorbell, she has a smirnoff ice in her hand and a small grin. it definitely makes up for the tedious journey.

“mikasa! hi!” historia opens the door wider to let her in, and mikasa walks into ymir’s apartment.

it is much cleaner, or rather, more homey, than mikasa imagined it to be, especially for someone like ymir. it outsells her and eren’s crummy dorm room to the max with just the mere space of the living room and kitchen combined.

“mikasa’s here.” historia announces to everyone once she locks the door, handing over her half finished smirnoff bottle to the raven haired girl. “drink this, it’s good.” historia winks, and mikasa looks down at the bottle in her hand, eyebrows furrowed. she can’t remember the last time she had spoken to historia reiss, a usually bubbly girl, but she seemed like a totally different person now. not a bad thing at all, mikasa thinks, maybe just ymir’s influence.

there’s some people outside on the balcony, mikasa can make out a few shadows amidst the shitty led lights flashing along the living room, and blindly follows historia to the couch, where the blonde sits down on ymir’s lap. 

“holy shit.  _ in  _ the flesh.” ymir’s expression is dazed, perhaps she’s a little drunk, from the way she’s clinging to historia’s kneecaps like a possessive child. “dude, like, you actually came. oh my god, this is gonna go down in ymir history.”

mikasa chuckles nervously, and remembers the drink in her hand. she sets it down on the table behind her, hopes that ymir and historia are too tipsy to notice. “yeah, well, i’m here.”

ymir chortlesl, taking a swing of her drink. mikasa uses this tiny window of time to look around the room, there’s actually not a lot of people. granted, there weren't a lot of people in ymir’s circle of friends, mikasa can only imagine how tiring being her friend could be, much less her  _ girlfriend _ . mikasa truly praises historia for keeping ymir under check.

still, there’s hardly any people in the room, sasha and connie chugging a bottle of diet coke and mentos in the kitchen because it seems like they are  _ trying _ to die, her, ymir and historia in the living room, and the few people outside. 

“um, where’s annie?” mikasa finally asks, when she realizes she doesn’t spot the girl inside. it’s like she can’t feel even more out of place here, and without annie, mikasa doesn’t think that could change.

ymir clears her throat, there’s a small smirk on her face that mikasa does not like the look of one bit. “out on the balcony.” ymir uses her free hand to point outside, the other wrapped around historia’s waist. “but she’s with reiner and bert though, and they're  _ so _ gonna cockblock you.”

mikasa scrunches her eyebrows, nodding slowly. “right...thank you.” she exits the conversation before ymir can say something suggestive, or, something worse than what she had just said right now. 

when mikasa slides open the balcony door, all six eyes are on her, and she feels like she’s interrupting something, intruding on a moment. annie has a cigarette hanging from her lips, which, mikasa didn’t even  _ know _ she smoked, and a can of beer in her hand. she almost looks...surprised. reiner and bertholdt share glances with each other, and it’s actually reiner who speaks first.

“yo, mikasa! i didn’t know you were coming!” reiner says, boisterous, as per usual. she nods in response, though her eyes are glued to annie. the air feels cold, especially with the soft breezing brushing past them, but mikasa feels something in her heart that  _ tugs painfully  _ at the tendrils, yet she can’t identify it right now.

“yeah.” annie mumbles,  _ finally.  _ mikasa lets out a small breath she didn’t even know she was holding in, doesn’t know  _ why _ having annie’s validation matters so much to her, but it does, weirdly so. “i’m glad you could make it, really.” annie scoots over on the patio couch, just enough for mikasa to squeeze in. it doesn’t take much effort, annie is already a small person.

“thanks.” mikasa smiles when she sits down, still feeling the harmless, yet uncomfortable, stares of the two boys in front of her. annie puffs out a cloud of smoke, tapping the cigarette so that the ashes fall onto the ground.

“hey, quit staring.” annie yaps, rolling her eyes. mikasa can feel the heat of her arm behind her on the couch, if it was only an inch closer, it would’ve been wrapped around mikasa’s waist. the thought in itself tints her cheeks with a light pink color.

“it’s okay, annie.” mikasa replies at annie’s sudden defensiveness, the constant staring isn’t the  _ worst  _ thing in the world, mikasa supposes it’s only natural for annie’s friends to be confused. after all, it’s not like mikasa ever knew her and annie were going to get this close.

bertholdt stays silent, in fact he hasn’t said anything since mikasa’s unexpected arrival into the balcony, but reiner chuckles heavily. 

“sorry…i haven’t seen mikasa in a while.” he smiles, but mikasa can see that annie next to her is bottling up her irritation, she takes a long, hard sip of her beer. “so, how are things? how’s eren?” reiner asks her, curious.

mikasa nods, tearing her eyes away from annie. “yes, he’s doing well. i don't think the exams were too great on him though, he gets stressed easily.” mikasa says.

“cool.” reiner responds. “and how are..you?” he says slowly, almost  _ nervously _ , it seems like his gaze isn’t actually focused on her, but rather behind her, at annie. 

mikasa opens her mouth to reply, she doesn’t really see an issue with this, reiner’s just being nice. perhaps a little too upfront, but that’s how he always is. though annie beats her to it, quite quickly as well.

annie huffs. “dude, if you keep bugging her, i’ll take you on now.” she chucks her puny cigarette on the ground, crushing it with her heavy boots. there’s a strong sense of possessiveness in annie’s tone, it’s almost weird at how natural it feels to mikasa, when the shorter blonde’s arm snakes around her hips. but her and annie aren’t  _ like _ this, they have never been so touchy with each other, not like friends usually do. which is why mikasa’s head feels like it’s pounding with thoughtless memories.

reiner heaves too loudly. it snaps mikasa out of her little trance, and reiner turns to talk at her. 

“mikasa, you know annie can fight, right?” he laughs, forcefully patting bertholdt on the back as he is seated next to him, it nearly knocks the brunet man over on the ground just from reiner’s brute strength. this worries mikasa.

annie scoffs and rolls her eyes yet again, placing her beer bottle on the floor. “yeah, whatever. let’s just get this over with.” she mumbles, ignoring mikasa’s anxious expression. the blonde rolls up the sleeves to her hoodie, as reiner does the same to his dress shirt. he already has his hands ready in position, and annie mimics him.

though, she is just halfway through the process of standing up from the couch before reiner throws an unexpected punch straight to her face. 

it lands square in her nose, mikasa watches it all happen in bits. how annie’s face wobbles under the force, the sudden rush of blood spurting out of her nose at high speed, how reiner’s hand recoils almost immediately. 

mikasa stands up straight away, hands cupping annie’s distressed face. “oh my god, are you okay?” she asks, laced with concern.

reiner clears his throat behind them nervously, even bertholdt gives him a tiny glare. “shit..didn’t mean to hit that hard, baby blonde. sorry!”

“god, just stop embarrassing me.” annie mutters through clenched teeth whilst mikasa tilts her head back to halt the blood flow, reaching around in her pocket for some tissues. she presses the tissue to annie’s nose, attempting to slow down the gushing. she’s definitely skilled at this, there were many times where eren would get constant nosebleeds when they were younger. mikasa of course, taking care of them every single time.

mikasa moves annie to sit back down on the couch, gently. in the events of mikasa doing so, she realizes that reiner and bertholdt had left in the meantime, it seems too suspicious to be a coincidence, leaving her and annie alone together. 

“are you sure you’re alright?” mikasa reaffirms, cupping the back of her head. annie looks at her with a dazed but dreamy gaze in her blue eyes, washed over with a stark of greyness. mikasa thinks she looks gorgeous. 

but now, with the more mikasa stares and with the blood lingering on annie’s face, her slightly, pained expression, the picture seems all too similar. mikasa finally recognizes that feeling, the one she felt before.

annie dangerously mimics the same blonde girl from her dream, garnished with hurt and red splotches, and mikasa feels like she’s treading on ice.

xx

it’s inevitable that mikasa has another dream like the first time, only now, instead of death and destruction, there’s a bed, a bundle of sheets, a mess of limbs. she can’t make it out exactly, but it looks like a warm fuzz of comfort.

_ “what are you looking at?”  _ a dull voice is heard buzzing in the back of mikasa’s skull. there’s a sultry tone to it, a slight flirtiness. mikasa can only imagine that this is meant to be an intimate moment, there’s a sprinkle of flowers on the edge of the bed, stark against the pale color of the bedsheets. she doesn’t know what it means.

a raspy voice counters, and mikasa realizes, no, she  _ knows _ now, that this blonde girl, the same girl from the first time, is somehow supposed to be annie, in one shape of form or another. 

_ “i’m looking at you.”  _ she says, mikasa can envision annie saying that, a defty smirk on her face. she can’t vividly see her face, it’s a mass of blur and sound, but mikasa can tell, from the streaks of blonde and the slight tanness of the skin, that this is annie. 

it seems too realistic and  _ scary _ to just be another mindless dream, mikasa doesn’t know the timeline of these events, but she assumes that this one is set before the first dream. it would only make sense, there’s no perception of war or blood in this dainty scene, but rather lust and desire. 

granted it isn’t as terrifying as the last one, however it still scares mikasa into gasping for air, eyes bolting open when the dream fades from her mind. to make it worse, the pounding sound of her phone ringing startles her further.

“what the fuck..” mikasa heaves, blinding searching for her phone on her dresser. she takes a quick glance at the clock - it’s not even two am.

mikasa doesn’t check the caller id, her brain too feels static and her heart is throbbing, but when she raises the phone to her ear, when she hears that  _ voice _ , her eyes widen further.

“hey…” annie’s voice is naturally raspy, though it is accompanied with the heaviness of sleep, and it rings through mikasa’s eardrums, racking her mind for some sort of nostalgia. “sorry, i know it’s late.”

“yeah, it is.” mikasa breathes into the darkness of her room. she waits for annie to speak again, the silence on the other side of the line has her itching to know what she could  _ possibly _ want.

there’s a small sigh, annie talks. “um. this, shit, this might sound weird but..i,” annie pauses, then affirms. “i just kinda had, like, a sex dream about..you?” annie’s tone seems so unsure that it pushes mikasa away from feeling any sort of ease. 

the stuttering feeling in her heart, and the rising of red to her cheeks at annie’s words, are completely overshadowed by her immediate realization.

“me..? i..had one too.” mikasa mumbles, then adds on, heat burning at the tips of her ears. “um, i think.”

mikasa wishes she could see annie’s expression, if she is also fighting away a hard blush on her face at the mere mention of... _ sex _ with each other. though maybe it’s for the better, that only her voice is available, mikasa doesn’t think she’d be able to handle annie looking so submissive.

“right..okay. geez, this is weird.”

“yes.”

annie then replies, clearing her throat. “wait, i just want to know, this might not even be correlated to your dream but..were there roses? or flowers of some kind? it looked really out of place to me, kinda stuck out, you know.”

this makes mikasa stiffen. her grip on her phone is so tight now to the point that she’s afraid it’ll snap right in her hand. there were flowers on the bed.

mikasa speaks slowly, her breath still hasn’t caught up to her, and this entire ordeal just worsens it. “were..they on the..edge?” mikasa manages to spit out. 

“yeah, they were.” 

mikasa swallows audibly, she runs a hand through her mussed hair, slick with sweat. “fuck.” she says. “this is…this hasn’t been the first time.”

“what, are our dreams connected? this isn’t some fucking psychcology course.” annie’s slight raise in pitch has mikasa flinching away from her phone. it’s almost like annie senses it, though she is not really there, yet she still lets out a soft exhale. 

“annie?” mikasa asks, she can still feel her presence, but there’s a heavy weight pulling her down.

“i’m sorry. it’s just..i’ve been having dreams like yours. but we were talking, or, people who  _ looked _ like us were talking to each other. i still don’t know if it has any meaning.”

“was it, by any chance, with the fire, and the grey sky, and..um.. the speaking?” mikasa questions, she doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do, saying this to annie, but it seems like she has a hunch in the same direction which only makes this whole situation more confusing.

mikasa thinks it’s just too  _ creepy _ to only be a coincidence, this kind of thing just doesn’t  _ happen _ to normal people. maybe her and annie aren’t as normal as they thought, maybe it would explain that shock mikasa felt when she touched her hand back in the library, all those weeks ago.

perhaps it would explain that feeling of lightness, of fullness, whenever mikasa was around annie, a sense of calmness and familiarity under all the confusion of reminiscence. 

when annie talks again, it only pummels all those thoughts straight into the ground.

“ _ i know we’ll meet again someday... _ right? that’s what was said, right?” 

xx

the next morning, mikasa wakes up with a crack in her joints and her phone on her pillow. she doesn’t even remember falling asleep, though nowadays, she can’t really remember anything at all. 

there’s a text on her screen, when she peers over her phone she can see her tired reflection, again, with the bags under her eyes. mikasa only hopes eren doesn’t notice them when she walks out her room. 

“where are you going?” eren asks, lounging on the couch with a bowl of cereal in his hands. “i thought us and armin were gonna hang out later.”

mikasa sighs and checks the time, it’s only ten am. she definitely has time to go run her errand and be back before the given hour of the hangout. “eren, that’s at four. i’m just going down to the library.” it isn’t really a lie, that scared text earlier, which was sent by annie, of course, told her to meet in the library. rather, she never said she was going  _ alone _ .

mikasa still hasn’t told eren about her and annie, this constant meeting up, how they’re  _ more _ than close now, especially with the weird dream storyline and such. she figures that he can just find it out later. after all, mikasa has bigger problems now.

“lame.” eren gargles through a mouthful of cereal. really, mikasa has taught him better than this. she grabs her keys and heads out, not without giving eren a small wave goodbye, to which he returns in his best attempt with a bowl in his hands.

it’s a saturday, so the library is barely busy, but there’s still some students here and there, and annie noticeably sticks out in the back table with her blonde hair, tied into two buns. though mikasa remembers their first proper interaction, how annie was so intent on merging into the background, however she thinks that now annie can be in a crowd full of people, and she would always stand out to mikasa.

“good to see you’re as joyful as ever.” annie grumbles, her laptop open in front of her with a bright screen of google pages. mikasa takes the seat next to her, doesn’t reply. she spots the bag under annie’s eyes as well, definitely from last night, but she doesn’t point it out, even though she has the same problem.

“well?” mikasa crosses her arms over her chest, raising a brow at annie and her sudden impulsiveness to call her and meet up. “i’m here, so talk.”

annie fiddles with the string of her hoodie, clicking on something on her laptop. “i’m trying to find a reason why, or, i guess,  _ how _ .”

“about the..dreams?”

annie nods, flips her computer around so that mikasa can see what she is looking at. annie zooms in on a small piece of text. when mikasa leans further to see the website, she only scoffs. 

“yahoo answers? really?” mikasa shakes her head, almost feels like  _ laughing _ . “this is so not reliable.”

annie huffs, scrolls down a bit. “yeah, i know. but look at this here, meshing dreaming.” annie then reads out, “meshing refers to the basic level of shared dreams where some of the elements overlap, but the entire dreams of the different people are not exactly the same. the dreams may share common characters, settings, or story lines, which the dreamers may or may not have had actual waking life experience with. sometimes sharing a common waking experience can contribute to dream meshing.”

mikasa points at the bottom of the small text, and annie highlights it with her cursor. “it says it’s kind of a form of lucid dreaming.”

annie then clicks her tongue, leaning back in her seat. she mimics mikasa’s actions, crossing her arms over her chest. mikasa realizes they’re more alike than she thinks.

“i doubt you’ve been lucid dreaming, so that crosses out that mutual dreaming thing.” annie sighs, looking around. her blue eyes then meet with mikasa’s steely grey ones, and she feels a small wave of comfort. “do you think..what if we’ve accidentally done some sort of past life regressions?”

mikasa shrugs her shoulders. “do you think this is a past life thing?”

“maybe, i mean, it’s possible.” annie tears her eyes away from the other girl, peering solemnly at her laptop. it has already gone to sleep. “because it’s too, you know,  _ accurate _ to just be something out of chance. and the fact that it’s happened to both of us at the same time.”

mikasa nods in agreement. the fact that her and annie were interconnected in a previous lifetime stirs up some butterflies in her stomach, that, perhaps, their bond was  _ so _ strong it couldn’t be destroyed, but rather transferred to another timeline. 

“i guess it would explain that..feeling.” mikasa mumbles, more to herself, however annie ends up hearing it anyways.

the blonde furrows her brow in confusion. “what do you mean?”

mikasa’s heart jumps at the sudden interruption, tries to hide the blush rising up on her cheeks when she speaks. “um, whenever i was around you..i kind of got this.. _ weird _ feeling. like you just seemed so familiar, and like that time in the starbucks, when i couldn’t stop staring at you, it was the same feeling.” mikasa says. annie’s red face doesn’t go unnoticed. “and when you spoke, it was like i knew you.”

annie doesn’t reply, only lowers her gaze at the table. 

eventually, after a moment of silence, annie speaks.

“we look like the other girl in each other’s dreams.” annie’s voice wavers at a vulnerable tone. “which we know now,  _ is _ actually  _ us _ .”

“right.” mikasa confirms. it’s the only other plausible reason, and it would make so much sense, especially surrounding these past few months of knowing annie. mikasa thinks it’s reasonable.

annie, however, looks like she seems sick. her face is pale all over, her eyes seem dark and hollow, nothing like mikasa has ever seen before, this sort of,  _ deathly _ expression on her. expect in her dreams, of course.

“okay, so. we were lovers in a past life. great.” annie doesn’t meet her gaze, yet mikasa doesn’t actually feel offended.

“i don’t think it’s that odd.” mikasa speaks softly, her voice a lifting spirit amongst the darkness of the entire situation. “i mean, we found each other, like we said, didn’t we?”

annie nods, then sighs. “yeah, yeah, we did.” annie then swallows hard, looking back up at mikasa for a sense of solace. “sorry, this is just..a lot to take in. i never imagined it would be something this... serious.”

mikasa’s hand comes around to rest on annie’s shoulder, squeezing in reassurance. “i know. but i’m here with you now, okay? don’t worry.”

annie stares at mikasa like she is the most important thing in front of her right now, and it makes mikasa feel giddy all over.

xx

mikasa opens the door for annie when she knocks on her dorm. she’s just come back late from work, and it’s now thursday, though not usually a busy night, there are expectations every now and then.

regardless, she’s cleaned up nicely, her hair is slicked back into two buns, as always, and her washed down jeans hug her legs quite nicely. mikasa stops herself from ogling before the girl in front of her can notice.

“hi.” mikasa opens the door wider for annie so that she can enter, giving the smaller girl a little peck on the cheek. eren gags from the couch, which has mikasa whipping her head around to give him a glare.

“good to see you too, eren.” annie replies. “you know, when you’re not cheating off of me in class.” eren sticks his tongue out at her response, focusing back on the tv in front of him.

mikasa rolls her eyes at this, allowing annie to drag her to the sofa by her arm. “why are you two always at each other's heads?” she asks when seated. annie crawls into her lap, and mikasa automatically wraps her arms around her waist. 

“we’re both aries, so.” annie shrugs her shoulders. “though i do sense some water signs in your chart, definitely a crybaby at heart.” annie says when she turns to look at the boy beside her. “a cancer moon...maybe..”

eren’s face scrunches up into irritation, his eyebrows are furrowed to the point of looking like bushy caterpillars placed on his face. 

“what the fuck are you saying?  _ no, _ it’s because  _ she’s _ stealing you away from  _ me _ ! how am i going to pass college without you by my side?” eren exasperates to mikasa, who just seems like an overseer in this discussion. 

“i think you seem to forget mikasa and i are spiritually  _ connected _ .” annie gives him a small wink, one that indicates she is correct. “i think i win by a landslide.” 

mikasa watches them, it’s something to get used to, her childhood friend and girlfriend interacting like this, though mikasa suddenly remembers they knew each other before. this was a proper collision, then.

eren groans, it’s almost comedic at how easily he gets worked up, and how annie only pushes it. “mikasa, i still can’t believe you’re dating  _ her _ .” he points his finger at the two. “she’s horrible at chemical foundations.” eren rolls his eyes, and annie sneers playfully at him.

“i actually know how to do them now.” she says smugly, hand running over mikasa’s knee. mikasa grins at her, annie is very subtle at being flirty when needed.

eren’s anger dissolves completely, at a quick pace. he perks up. “wait really? dude, you’ve gotta help me.”

it has annie breaking out into laughter at his sudden shift in emotion. mikasa chuckles a bit, whilst eren just sits there in confusion, but she’s mostly looking at annie. her cheeks crease at the sides, when she laughs, and her light eyebrows turn up in joy. mikasa falls in love all over again, and she wonders just how powerful her and annie’s link is, for them to find each other in another life, and how  _ lucky _ she got.

it feels like the very first time, when she looks at annie like this, with the sparks and slight pursuit, but without all the confusion and hurt.

mikasa thinks this is the best she can get in her second life, and she hopes her love for annie will translate into the next one.


End file.
